I’ve seen a lot of posts recently about losing your way with blogging and honestly I feel the same right now. I’m not feeling blogging, I’m bored with a lot of it and I’m bored of the constant competition I see online from some bloggers to be the top dog.
I’m a small blog but I love writing, I love that I somehow managed to gain some followers and readers and I’m super appreciative of every single person that reads this blog – once or a lot – and I’m grateful for all of the opportunities I have been given from PR’s, companies and the like. But I’m just not in love with this space right now, my blog feels like a chore, every time I open my laptop to write on here it feels like something I have to do, not something I want to do. This is not my job and regardless of that fact, writing should never feel like a chore. Writing is a passion, a hobby or both. I’ve always wanted to write, it’s what I love, I may not be excellent at it but I get by and I’m learning all the time. I love words, the written word is the most romantic notion of communication or portrayal of stories, emotions and characters. But now, I feel a bit lost.
And I think I’ve felt that way since I finished uni really. I hated university, every moment of that course was awful and it genuinely drained my passion for writing and journalism. It has taken me a while to build back up my love of it and there has been times over the past 3 years where I’ve revelled in this, I’ve loved it, I’ve been full of ideas and the writing just kept on being there when I needed or wanted it. But now there is nothing, I think I’ve hit a wall for the time being. Life is stressful at the minute, a lot is going on and it is a busy time. The ideas I do have for the blog need lots of planning and time to implement properly and the small amount of time I do have in a day to write just produces nothing of worth, nothing I’m truly excited about.
I write about music but I’m not excited by much of it at the moment, I write about fashion but I’m not excited about any of that at the moment. I’m excited about food, culture and travel and like I said I have ideas for those areas but they need more time. I don’t just feel lost in my blog but lost in many areas of my life. Right now I have a lot to take my mind off of it but what about when everything goes back to normal, I’m just worried that I have no idea what I want to do and what I want from life. The things I want are big and scary.
I want to travel again too as I’ve never felt as free as I did then. I was truly myself when I was travelling but at home I struggle to be the person I am. I have a lot of things I need to address and because of that this blog may start taking a back seat. I’ll still write and post things but only when it is something I’m truly passionate and excited about plus I’ll still be working on implenting and starting the ideas I have because I love them and I want them to work.
I’m never personal on here, my private life is just that private but for once I’m letting you guys in because you deserve to know that I need some time for myself, I need to be there for the people that need me right now and so writing may not be as big a priority right this moment. In the grand scheme of my life, writing is everything but there is no point writing trash and half-hearted pieces to keep up views and keep the PR emails coming in.
I want to write something interesting, great and, hopefully one day, something that truly fulfils the huge ideas, passions and aspirations I have. So there will still be posts but less, maybe not every day anymore just when I find something I love and want to write about. I hope you’ll stick with me through this time, I know I’ll be back properly at some point, and again I’m hugely grateful for all the support, opportunities and everything else that I’ve received over the past few years. You guys are always awesome and thank you for sticking around so far.